Tuesday, April 20, 2010

How to Really Annoy that Sewing Enthusiast In Your Life

If you've been paying attention to various sewing sites and blogs, then you know that a majority of the people are in foul moods and pretty ticked off by pretty much everything in life. It really doesn't take much to annoy these people. In fact, I've found that all it really takes is forum moderation activities (moving threads, deleting/editing posts, telling people to chill and play nice, etc). If you really want to tick them off then create a site and become so successful you make a living at it. They really hate it when people earn a decent living. However, that doesn't really take much creativity. The idea I'm about to share with you happened to me today and I find it much more creative than simply ranting on your blog or forums to annoy fellow sewers. So enjoy.

First, look around the home of that seamstress in your life. Are there things lying about their house and you're not sure where they go? Let's start here. Take those things and carry them into her sewing room. Now, you could gently deposit them on a table, but let's not do that. Instead, throw them on the floor, preferable in various places so they can't be removed in one swoop. Make sure she doesn't notice your actions. It's much more fun when she finally gets some free time to sew, opens the sewing room door and discovers the items strewn about. Now at this point she's pretty mad, but still able to take it all in stride. So she starts cleaning up. Here's where the second part comes in.

Before proceeding with this next part, you'll need a cat. The optimum choice is a cat that hates this particular sewist, but if you can't find one then just any cat should do. Now, lock this cat in her sewing room for a very long time without a litter box. This part is very important: no litter box. The idea behind this being that poor kitty can no longer hold its bladder and must make do with the floor.

So the sewer is now cleaning up her sewing room, thinking to herself "Ok, it's not so bad, I'll just get this up and--huh? What's that smell?" A-ha! Now she has found kitty's makeshift emergency potty which consists of fabric scraps and the carpet. So now on top of a messy sewing room, it now reeks of cat urine. If you're not familiar with cat urine it's kinda like the toxic gas weapons they use in wars. It's not easily removed.

You have now managed to successfully tick off the sewist in your life and have made her miserable.

If this did not make you laugh, then you're probably one of those people I mentioned in the beginning. If that's the case, seek mental help. Now.


Carolyn in AR said...

Is that kitty still living with you? Or still living at all for that matter? So sorry this happened to you, but thanks for a good laugh.

Pyrose said...

Hey, as long as I gave you a laugh, then I accomplished my goal. I was soooo mad, but figured I could maybe turn it into something funny. She's still alive, but I'm seriously reconsidering that. For some reason she's decided to stop using the litter box and it's driving me INSANE. My steam vac has been running a lot lately.

Cindy Lou said...

THe 9998th reason to be a DOG person...

:) :) :) Crack me up!

Pyrose said...


In all fairness the kitty was locked in there by someone in the house. For some reason everyone likes going into my sewing room. I'm still ticked at the people who supposedly came by to help clean my house only to dump all that stuff in my sewing room. Argh.

Janine said...

Oh, gee, did you ever get to sew??!! I think that cat would have a short life here at our house. What makes your sewing room so attractive to everyone? Maybe they just love being with you!!